A tribute to a friend..

I wouldn’t normally write a post like this for the blog but as it is related to parenting I wanted to pay tribute to my friend Jane, I’ve changed the names in the blog to keep them anonymous but if she ever read it she would know it is her.

Last year 1st December 2012 Jane gave birth to twin baby boys who had to be delivered by C-section at just 30 weeks.  It was uncertain whether either baby was going to survive and after a short time the chaplain to the hospital was called and emergency baptism performed as the odds looked increasingly weak.  Devastatingly 6 hours after birth one of the twins died.

The second twin fought on and Jane sat beside the incubator for several weeks day and night willing him to grow bigger and stronger and wonderfully he did.  A funeral was held for the baby who did not make it, Jane and her husband attended alone, it was as she wanted it but hard for those who care for them not to be able to support them.

After seven weeks they were finally able to bring Noah home, an incredible moment and yet mixed emotions kicked in as reality resumed, the tiredness associated with a new baby especially one so tiny and used to 2 hourly feeds in hospital and back at home all together a time to grieve for the baby they had lost.

In February, Jane had the shock of her life when she discovered her husband had been seeing another woman, all through the time when the twins were born and afterwards.  Devastated she took Noah to stay with her parents and when she returned home he had gone.

Since then Jane has amazed me by her strength and her dignity as she has dealt with the loss of a child, the worry and concern of potential development issues having had a seriously premature baby and the breakdown of her marriage and subsequent divorce.

She has kept going, not allowed herself a moment of self-indulgence and always done the best for Noah and his older brother aged 5.  She has now returned to work full time and with the support of her family is an incredible Mummy to two beautiful boys.

Today is the twins first birthday and I feel so proud to call Jane my friend, I know James in heaven will be watching his family and Noah is a thriving happy one year old, how one person can go through so much and come out the other end smiling and facing the future is beyond me but she is truly an amazing person.  Happy First Birthday gorgeous boys there is a very bright star in the sky tonight!


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